I've been getting really irritated with all the pink blogger-ness of this lately so I decided to try using wordpress and see how that works out:


Seriously, tell me what you think---in the comments---about the new look because there isn't much choice style-wise but it's wtf (way the fuck) easier to navigate i.e. search, previous entries, categories, etc.....



The snotty charm of Vogue:

Vogue has to be careful. The upcomer might use the word cute instead of panache; she might talk about giving a party instead of a dinner; or describe a suede coat ‘for weekending with the station-wagon set’ rather than ‘for your country home.’ Or talk of going to a jewelry store instead of a bijouterie. Most maladroit of all, she might talk in terms of a best buy rather than an investment, or a coup. Or refer to a ballgown as — one shudders to think of it — a formal. [Source]

Well, they certainly fooled a certain sister of mine. Upon reading a little bit of In Search of Lost Time: "Yeah, I see why you like it. It sounds just like Vogue."

Seriously. Seriously.

Bad-gley Mischka

These ads that las gemelas Olsen did for Badgley Mischka seriously just don't work.

Obviously, I love the Olsens and everything, but the Olsens as faces of a brand that's famous for its big events-y type dresses just doesn't make sense.

They totally look like two little girls dressing up and I don't know whose fault it us but the dresses in the picture on the left look quite fug.

Actually, the whole idea is fug.

[image via Popsugar]

Attack of the Clones

This is from the TVgasm recap of this week's suspense-asmic* episode of Grey's Anatomy.

The Many Faces of Ellen Pompeo. Clockwise from upper left: happy Meredith, sad Meredith, excited Meredith, frightened Meredith, surprised Meredith, hopeful Meredith, angry Meredith, despondent Meredith, horny Meredith, shitfaced Meredith.

LOL. Especially funny if you actually imagine each expression with the emotion. Hint: imagine a different Meredith monotone voiceover with each "emotion".

Also, did anyone else think that Meredith looked especially cyborg-like while wearing a flak jacket? Sometimes I think Ellen Pompeo is pleasantly depressing and at other times I think she's just ABC's other Teri Hatcher.

Despite the sheer idiocy of this whole 2-episode bomb in the body plotline it did make for some hi-larious screencaps, so definitely check out the other ones in the TVgasm recap. Meredith's fabulous "acting" when the bomb squad guy explodes? Sooooo goood.

*suspense-asmic = overwrought, overacted, overthought, overbotoxed, overdumbed, and under-realistic-ized......ummmm, but it's still my favorite.


I Knew There Was Something Wrong With Abercrombie*

Meet Mike Jeffries, CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch and one verra weird guy:

"....at A&F headquarters Jeffries always goes through revolving doors twice, never passes employees on stairwells, parks his Porsche every day at the same angle in the parking lot (keys between the seats, doors unlocked), and has a pair of "lucky shoes" he wears when reading financial reports."

Not to mention he's 61 years old and still wearing Abercrombie (if you don't find that picture of him seriously disturbing, you're probably either seriously disturbed...or from L.A.)

Innyhoo, the whole article about this freaktacular is highly amusing and worth reading. Especially the part where they say that A & F is for college students and Hollister is for high school students: lol.......fo' reals???? I think they meant A & F is for losers and Hollister is for Losers, putting the lovely moi firmly in the losers category--note lowercase "l" porfavs.

*other than this and this

[Salon via !!!omg blog!!! ]

"One Foot in Gucci, One Foot in the Ghetto"

The above quote made me loooove Kimora Lee Simmons so damn much that I felt compelled to share some of her life lessons on how to be fabulous (ghettofabulous?) with all y'alls.

"If you're shy, get the hell over it: You're slamming the door in your own face."

"In almost any situation, it is far more devastating to keep your icy cool while the other person gets herself in a flush-cheeked, teary-eyed hot mess yelling in your face."

"Heels, heels, heels. My motto: 4 inches, no less."

"Wear a dramatic coat that almost demands someone help you put it on and take it off."

"Laugh a lot. It makes everybody wonder if it's more fun to be at your party."

"Turn up the music in every room you enter."

Ah! I so want to write these on the whiteboard in my English class. And why shouldn't I? Everybody else writes "inspirational" shit up there.

[Get more pearls of Kimora's wisdom from Crunk & Disorderly]
[image from the smoking gun]

No Gold For You Ms. Kwan!


Just thought I should celebrate the end of the Olympic career of my least favorite ice skater that everyone else seems to love. (Everyone who sucks, that is.)

Yea for Sasha Cohen!

C'mon, she gets featured on Project Runway, how much cooler can you possibly get?

Last Week: The Recap

Obviously, the only reason I have not been posting in the past week (exactly 7 days! I'm so organized!) is that I have been too busy making like Ashley Olsen in a Hanes T-shirt and being absolutely fab-ulous.

Things That I Have Been Doing While Being Fab-ulous:
* watching the Lindsay Lohan version of Parent Trap....methinks she may have peaked at age 10. (Actingwise that is. Socialwise I suppose she's moved on up, considering that in the movie she takes a picture of Kate Moss with her to summer camp and now the two are pole dancing buddies)
* getting Ds on Physics tests..............translation: NOT failing!!! GO ME!!!
* playing Snood. My puzzle high score is 94661, what's yours, Megan?

....and the #1 reason I was busy last week: Duh! Fashion Week! Where else would Ashley Olsen be but at all the most fabulous of fabulous New York Fashion Week Fall '06 shows???

P.S. Possibly celebrities did stuff last week, but probably nothing very important. You can go check.


Do you recognize these lesbians????

I do!!!! It's Kim and Sarah from America's Next Top Model, walking around NYC together (fashion week, shmashion peek--as if anyone on ANTM possibly gives a shiitake about real fashion) I think we all know what this means......a reality show couple reunited postshow!!! Yea! Feel-good television!!!

Backstory (for the lametards who don't obsessively follow ANTM history): Kim was the show's token lesbian who actually got pretty far on the show despite her bloated face (looking much sleeked down here, btw) and complete inability to take good pictures. Sarah was the "straight" girl who hooked up with Kim then got kicked off the show and was promptly forgotten.

Not that it matters but I hate Kim maybe a few iotas less then I did on the show because of:

1. her outfit........pretty durned cute, and very much working for her 2. the fact that she apparently didn't rip Sarah's heart out on TV and then forget about her, because we don't really want to see another life ruined on reality tv.
image from The Sartorialist


Kirsten: Not only Drunkst but a Whore?

Kirsten Dunst was left speechless after an old man asked her if he could lick whipped cream off her naked body. The actress was reportedly approached by the unknown man, believed to be in his 50s, as she waited for a limousine outside a Los Angeles hotel. According to onlookers, Dunst started to walk away after the man made his illicit request, and he was allegedly overheard saying: "Wait. What's the matter? I come to watch you dance every weekend."

When the 23-year-old star confronted him about what he had said the embarrassed guy apologized, explaining he had mistaken her for a local stripper.

A source is quoted by Britain's Daily Sport newspaper as saying: "Kirsten asked him what he was talking about and he said he'd confused her with a stripper from a nearby club." [Source]

.........major lols, no?


Singing State

Maybe when you're no longer prettier than Zach Braff it's time to start growing your hair out again....hm, Natalie?

Garden State costars Zach Braff and Natalie Portman practice making sweet music together at New York City's Public Theater on Monday, where they performed at an event celebrating show tunes.

Or is your unappealing hair supposed to go with the unappealing movie choice: V is For Vendetta???



LiMoLo Fucks Herself Up.............Again

Damns, Lindsay went to the hospital for like the kabillionth time because she got like "cut by a teacup" or some bullhockey....

This girl just don't quit. She's like that woman in Gray's Anatomy last week who wanted to live in the hospital forever because she was afraid that moving into the old folks' home would make her *gasp* old.......all I can say is: Accept your fate Lindsay Morgan Lohan you are growing old, bitch! Damn, you're like 20 going on dead.

Innyhoo, I looove the way Linds's mom describes el incidente:

“Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup,” Dina Lohan told Star. “She had just come out of the shower, so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs. … The teacup went flying, it was shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay on her shin.” [Source]

Sheesh, Dina! ".....still wet and had some lotion on"???? Way to pull a Joe Simpson and whore out your firstborn! *le tsk tsk*


Once, Twice, Three Times My Petie

Hum, Pete Doherty got arrested 3 times yesterday!

Wow, impressive, maybe I need to phase out my crush on him before he dies.

On the other hand........I kind of like him more because according to that article he drives a Jaguar too, *le sigh* how much more perfect and Britishly drug-addictly cute can he get???


I <3 Andy Samberg

First the Chronic (what!) cles of Narnia (or the Lazy Sunday rap as laaaaaaaaaaaaaame people call it)....now this Young Chuck Norris video.

On the plus side for SNL: yea! finally something funny is on the show (incidentally....something kind of hot too, right? I'm not alone there?)

On the minus side for SNL: Why the hell would I waste my time watching the whole fucking show when I can watch all the best bits on the internets?

Ooooh! and in related news.........watch Lazy Monday! It's the West Coast's response to Lazy Sunday, and it makes California seem really, um, cool.


OMFG! Celebrities Eat?????

Yah, they do, and the do it really funny-style too:


I'm soooo in love with this site (aka faaabulous new time-waster) which is full of funny pictures of celebrities eating with hi-fucking-larious captions.

Although, apparently I'm not up enough on Cahleefornia politics to get this caption........does the governator say "jingle all the way" a lot or something? Ah, whatevs, the point is that Ahnuld looks FUNNY when he eats......even his friends laugh at him!

Lil' Lohan Red Riding Hood....

...hath vanquished "Big Bad" Yoko Ono (aka "Ugly, Annoying, Greedy, Best-Band-Ever-Ruining" Yoko Ono....or UAGBBER YO for short)

See, apparently it was bothering UAGBBER YO to be "forced to watch the reenaction of her husband's murder on the doorstep of her New York City home, after failing to ban producers from filming new movie CHAPTER 27 at the location."

But when "Yoko immediately checked if the Dakota building had the right to refuse them filming the facade, and found out that legally, all they had to do was to get the permission of the city." We knew there weren't nothing she could do to stop us! [Source]

So, "Ha! in yo face Yoko!" laugh Lindsay and I "IN. YO. FACE!" and um, then she goes off to hang out with fat Jared Leto and I shake my head in dismay at the mess he hath made of himself.

[images via Popsugar]

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is Insane

Seriously. Bat-shit insane:

"Teri Hatcher is my favorite Desperate Housewife. She's just sex on legs. She's an older woman who I imagine could teach me a few things." [Source]

That's definitely crazy talk. I used to think he was marginally hot (okay, sometimes I thought he was hot, really hot, really really hot........but then sometimes he looked like this) but now he's definitely off the prospective husbands list because, let's be honest, I really don't want to take the risk of ending up with crazy babies.

Hillary Duff's #1 Fan?

Let's Count the Ways in Which This is So Very Wrong:

1. Joel Madden.....nuff said
2. Public Display of Duff-love.....why exactly does he want people to know that he's with an emaciated former Disney princess?
3. Trucker hat
4. Airbrushing???????
5. Pink and Purple AIRBRUSHING?????

Chanel on the Cheap

Ack! I love love love these pins! They're the next best (and waaaaay cheaper) thing to those Chanel slip-on sneakers that look like Vans* and did I mention that I'm in lurrrrrrve with them???????

You can buy various labelicious pins at ioffer.com

* I'm kind of afraid to wear my normal Vans because I feel like total poser (me, skateboarding............) but anyway, I feel like the Chanel version would be totally unposerish because what self-respecting skater would want designer shoes?

P.S. About all this shit concerning Chanel's "huge" mistake in lending Reese Witherspoon and Natalie Portman preworn frocks at the Golden Globes. Dude, get over it, and shut up about actresses boycotting Chanel or something. Chanel is Chanel and (erm, nothing personal against Reese or Natalie both of whom I love, but) these bitches should just shut up and be thankful for the fucking gorgeous clothes they get to wear for free.

Fat Actor?

Looking at some horrifying before and after shots from A Socialite's Life, well, for his sake (and for the sake of world-hotness levels in general) I really hope Jared Leto's been wearing a fat suit as he films the new (Lindsed Loheto spectacular) Chapter 27.

I'm not the hugest Jared Leto fan (post Jordan Catalano that is) but the hotness of that first pic is undeniable. Seriously, what a step up for ol' Lindsay Lohan from Wilmer Vanderrama to that..........and then to see it all disappear? That would be really tragic. Almost as if she were destined to date chubby, annoying actors for the rest of her life. Poor Lindsay. Oh for the sake of the Lindsay in us all, please get hot again Jared!


The Sundance Swag

Life is sooo unfair:

"The Sundance Channel Gift Bag is being given to 250 pre-selected individuals, including cable and satellite affiliates, film and TV makers, talent, and strategic marketing partners, according to Kirk Iwanowski, SVP of marketing at the network. And what's some of this year's loot for the lucky group? Kenneth Cole returns with a full grain leather duffel bag containing the new Apple video iPOD (60 gb); an AMC entertainment card worth $150; Block head-ware; a full year membership to the chic David Barton Gym, including five private training sessions; a visit to Exhale Spa; a $100 gift card to China Grill; Grey Goose Vodka; J Crew cashmere gloves; a 'day of skiing' at the Sundance resort, including ski rentals and passes for two; a two-night stay at a W Hotel and more including an DVDs from ThinkFilm and Sundance Channel as well as a Leonard Cohen CD" [Source]

Really, all I can think when I read this is that it is so unfair that people don't give ME swag. Well, that and why the fuck is it such a manly swag bag? Really, doesn't it seem very macho to you.....are they saying that women can't make it onto the top 250 list????????

Adrien Brody & The Thug Life

Hm, Adrien Brody, appears to be really racially confused or something. How does he remain so attractive despite the fact that he talks like an 11 yr. old boy? No matter how badly he disgraces himself with this article in Mass Appeal magazine (no, I've never heard of it either) I still have to say that he does rock the head tilt pretty well:

Mass Appeal: So you were in Bullet with Tupac, right?

Adrien Brody: Oh, yeah. I went bombing with Tupac. Get the fuck outta here. I went bombing in Brooklyn with Tupac. On the wall, he was writing “Thug Life” before any Thug Life albums were out, and he had it on his chest. I was like, What the fuck is Thug Life? That’s cool. I think some of it might be on the wall in a scene in Bullet. I forget what I wrote.

Mass Appeal: Did you spend a lot of time with ’Pac?

Adrien Brody: Mickey [Rourke] and ’Pac’s boy had this fistfight, so we’re all just chilling, drinking in Mickey’s trailer. ’Pac would come out in a blaze of smoke, and we would all hang out a lot. One night, we shot all night. I finally got one take or two takes, because the sun was coming up. I just came through in the crunch. It was independent guerilla film making, craziness. Afterwards, I was hanging under the Major Deegan [Expressway] in a limo at like four in the morning when I played my ’Pac my beats on cassette! I remember chilling with ’Pac, just cruising on the way home in the back of the car, sun coming up—it was a dream come true. It was just one of those moments." [Mass Appeal Magazine via The Corsair]

If Your Aunt Minnie is a WHORE!!!

On the one hand, it's funny that Woody Allen would give Scarlett Johanssen fashion advice, because, well....he's Woody Allen* and since when has he been such a fashionista(o?). On the other hand it's also funny because he's so right:

FWD: What do you think of Scarlett’s style?

Woody Allen: I have had many conversations with Scarlett on this subject. The main thing I tell her is to simplify. I think that she dresses older than she should. I would tell her to wear her hair looser, to lessen the makeup and heavy red lipstick. Be more natural. It’s a starlet thing. She is a beautiful girl but I have told her to tone it down.

FWD: Are there any specific designers you would recommend?

Woody Allen: I wouldn’t go that far. But I have told her to dress her age, instead of dressing like my Aunt Minnie." [Fashionweekdaily]

*Although the FWD article does make his look sound a lot classier than it's alway appeared to the naked eye, describing his outfit as "a trademark slouchy green cashmere jumper" and leaving out any mention of his lovely trademark Groucho Marx glasses.


I Spit in the Face of PETA: *Ptooey!*

OMFG! I love when Mary-Kate whips out the furs, they look so good! (No sarcasm there guys, I get that certain (stupid) people don't understand MK's look---and yes, Mr. Blackwelll, with his stupid little "worst-dressed list" is one of those dumbasses--but the point is that I like the way she dresses and her look has nothing to do with the tack-ay imitations that give her such a bad name....)

Innyhoo, that was just a long intro to this little gem of an excerpt from today's Gawker Stalker:

I saw Mary-Kate Olsen at Galaxy Deli on 10th street and 3rd ave. around 10:30 pm tonight. She was wearing a fur jacket, black leggings, black platform high heels, a big gold ring and a silvery snake ring, and a black sunhat-shaped hat made of velvet or felt. She’s actually pretty, with a heart-shaped face. She was at the cash register taking her sweet time picking out lots of candy: Twizzlers, Starburst, Tootsie Rolls. She kept talking about the Tootsie Rolls to the chubby, fey boy she was with. He said something about kids from his acting class to which she responded with a comment that I didn’t catch, but the inflection in her voice is what I like to call the slack-jaw-ennui-up-talk. Then he said sarcastically: “You’re getting cold-hearted in your old age.” One or both of them smelled like booze.

See! Proof that Tootsie Rolls are truly her favorite candy! I mean we all read the rumours......but I still had my doubts. I feel much more at peace now that I know it's for real.

Okay, plus I just liked it b/c her outfit sounds cute in that special MK way: love the black leggings with black platforms......and obvs. the fur. Um, the hat though? Seriously? That's venturing onto dangerously J.Lo infested territory, right?


Dear Misters Masterson,

First of all sorry about your shows (That 70's Show for Danny Masterson and Malcolm in the Middle for Chris Masterson) getting cancelled. Boo fucking hoo, I hated both of these shows anyways.

My real point was just that I think it's super cool and random that you guys are brothers.

<3 LCP

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Hamster

If I was really cool I would buy this shirt. And I would have a hamsta named Gangsta.....or maybe Wanksta? Anyway:

And all I gotta say to you / Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin’, pussy-eatin’ prankstas / Cuz when the fry dies down what the fuck you gonna do / Damn it feels good to be a [hamsta]

Just a few words to live by from the Geto Boys.

[all cool people will obviously be buying a piece of the hotness at Delia*s......although why the fuck it only comes in one color I do not know]

Dear Georgey Porgey Pudding & Pie,

Please tell me you did not kiss this girl or I will cry. Ew. Gross. George Clooney, if you're for reals dating this hag then you're for reals off my Hot Old Guys list. (Which will leave Clint Eastwood pretty f'ing lonely)

TERI HATCHER and GEORGE CLOONEY are playing coy about their rumoured romance, by refusing to chat about their reported date.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES star Hatcher is staying quiet about the ‘date’, while Clooney insists “it’s a good rumour”.

The actress says, “If I went on a date with George Clooney I would not be talking about it.”

And gentleman George adds, “She is my neighbour, though, and she’s beautiful.” [Source]

Oh wait, never mind, apparently you already cleared the air about this frightening rumour (You can go hang out with Clint again). Still.....calling that creature beautiful? Not hot man, not hot.


How To Study For Finals

1. Watch Cheaper by the Dozen 2 even though you said you never would. Give me a break, it was Hilary Duff's first movie as a skinny minnie (for some reason that always runs through my head when I think of her....maybe it's the Disney, maybe the fact that mice have big teeth?) Anyhow, my (un)tasteful self enjoyed it despite the fact that its humour was "....as malnourished as Hilary Duff appears to be" Ha ha, eat that Hil.D......hmmm, maybe I should call her Hil. D. it has a nice "horsedfaced Hildie" ring to it while still retaining that sugary Disney popstar vibe.

2. Watch Tristan and Isolde even though it obviously wasn't going to be supa dupa (considering the fact that I saw most of the previews on TV) and drool over James Franco. I love him because a) He's pretty. b) Basically any cookie cutter "hot guy" is like 5 bazillion times hotter in an ancient warrior costume. c) He comes from Palo Alto which has a severe lack of interesting famous people (No! The Donnas are not interesting)

3. Watch (so fucking overhyped) 24 because people talk about it so much that it must be good, right? Wrong. What a waste of 4 hours of precious TV space this week....and really, WTF with the 2 day/4 hr season premiere, a little full of ourselves are we? Surely that's more than anyone could stand?

Actually, the absolute crap that is 24 kind of brought home the fact that TV is a lot less inspiring lately than usual...............I look back fondly on the early days of Alias, the O.C., Sex and the City, even as recently as Lost. Lately my favorite show is Grey's Anatomy and frankly, that's just because there's nothing better at the moment.

They wonder why we're so addicted to reality TV, huh? Give me Laguna Beach any day over 24! What's stupider: watching superficial people (successfully) act funny and superficial or watching superficial people (unsuccessfully) act important and exciting?

4. Watch a lot of other crap TV and then bitch about it all. My life is so hard.


You'll Never Get to Heaven If You're Scared of Getting High....

....yeah, according to Kylie anyway.

Um, and maybe to like every celebrity. Here's a nice lil' compilation of pictures of famous peoples getting high.

Hmph, and they say Kate Moss isn't a good role model??? Geez, at least she gets high in the privacy of her own recording studio.

["Hot in 2006: Celebrity Potheads" Cityrag]

Question of the Day

Question: Does Bush still have game? (I'm assuming we all agree he was pretty much hot stuff back in the day.......c'mon when he put on that cheerleading uniform.....)

Answer: Hellz to the yah! C'mon, I think Angela Merkel (the German Chancellor) looks pretty flustered when he gives her the ol' college try.

["Date and Switch" The WOW Report]


WTF of the Day

Sienna Miller has been painting with her breasts. The on-again-off-again sweetie of Jude Law has been in character to play Edie Sedgwick, one of Andy Warhol’s entourage, in “Factory Girl” and she’s been using her breasts to paint large canvases, which she has displayed in her London home. She explains: “I’ve got rooms covered in [bleeps].” [Source]
Blargh. I hate Sienna......like we really nee to know this. Ooh, she's such a trendsetter (and such a better role model than Kate Moss, if only we could all be as edgy and method as her.) Double Blargh.

My Shambling Baby....

...is going to jail (okay, maybe, and yeah this one was obviously coming)

But he's bringing the fans with him (another maybe, since I doubt Pete Doherty's fans are the court going types....y'know, like lawyers and stuff)

Innyhoo.....he interrupted a concert to invite his fans to court with him (and help him fight for the right to party?)

P.S. Wow, it was a huge oversight on my part to omit Pete from the post below! He's mos defs a contender for my favorite cokehead.


A Few of My Favorite Cokeheads...

Hm, it seems that I haven't really been keeping y'alls updated on what's going on with Kate "the Great" Moss

....this because I'm so ovah all this "blah blah blah she's a bad role model and a cradle robber" shite. Or as (another) London Cokehead would say....

Note to the British Police : Leave Kate the fuck alone , she hasn't done anything wrong apart from snort a few lines " Ooooo is that illegal or something ", do something useful like arrest some crack dealers or street muggers. If I can sit in a cafe on Portobello Rd and watch them operate, surely you can.. Or is that too much like hard work nowadays for you all ??

P.S. I'm kind of totally addicted to this Cokehead guy......he's fucking hilarious.



Um....it's part deux b/c when I typed in "Sark" the little prompt-y thing was all "hows about 'Sark Attack'" and I was like "Damn, that's clever.....too bad I already used it!" Wait......I have an idea of how I could make a whole new popular MTV series without coming up with another title because I'm LAZY! Um, I mean blog post title.....y'know what I haven't had ANY caffiene ALL DAY.....I think I'm just naturally like this. *Le Sigh*

TV Guide’s Shawna Malcom of has learned that the producers of the newly cancelled “Alias” are mulling a spinoff series:

Among the formats Pinkner and Abrams have discussed is a spin-off series revolving around villains Sark (David Anders), Peyton (Amy Acker) and Sloane (Ron Rifkin). "It's the triumvirate of evil!" Pinkner says. (No official discussions with ABC have taken place yet.)

They also talk about their hopes for a big-screen “Alias” movie, and about their desire to bring back Will Tippen and the evil Francie for what’s left of the final season, here. [Source]

But Seriously.............that has to be like the most intense Sark Attack ever! Me and Megan have been waiting for a Sark spinoff 4eva!!!! (And despite a deep and abiding hatred of Amy Acker left over from her incredible lameness on Angel, I'm willing to take what I can get.

Brokeback Moustache

I finally went to see Brokeback Mountain
yesterday and after having heard many reviews both positive (Perez Hilton) and negative (Ted Casablancas) I must say that I was shocked (shocked!) that no one said anything about that crime of a moustache inflicted on Jake Gyllenhaal's face about 1/2way through the movie.

My point being that if you're going because you want to see two hot cowboys, you may be sorely disappointed. However, if one hot cowboy is good enough for you than feast your eyes on this! I <3 Heath 4eva!

If sad endings are too much for your tender soul (or your unwaterproof mascara) I suggest you walk out say....10 or so minutes early and read Simon Doonan's alternate happy ending instead.

Who Dat?

Seriously, who in the world would wear tight white pants when they have their period?

(Or, at least I'm assuming that she has her period since there aren't really any alternatives..........except perhaps the whole "I spilled my pomegranate juice on my crotch" excuse which is just lame because EVERYBODY knows you should drink apple juice when you wear your white pants. Sheesh.)

Click Complete Post to see the fashion victim of the day.....

Yup, it's not Kimberly Stewart it's not even Paris Hilton: it's Mischa Barton giving the two aforementioned skanks a run for their "terrible terrible taste" money.

Ew, not to mention she's also wearing a T-shirt from her incredibly lame boyfriend's incredibly lame band. Talk about a bad day.



Um, apparently my ability to make snappy post titles has been sucked out of my like schools sucks away my happiness: SLUUUUUURP

Innyhoo, according to People

Lindsay Lohan was admitted to a Miami hospital Monday night after suffering a severe asthma attack and is now “resting comfortably,” a source close to the actress tells PEOPLE.

An asthma attack, hm? So I guess "asthma" is the new "exhaustion". And if you ask me, lil' LiMoLo looks like she's been hitting the asthma pretty hard lately, begging the question: will 2006 usher in some more hot rehab action. I mean 2005 was pretty rehab-apaloozaish itself what with (off the top of my head) Kate Moss, Donatella Versace, and Pete Doherty (sorta) all heading to Arizona. Still, I think we can expect even bigger things from 2006!

Junk Attack, Mothafuckas!

Yea! Just returned from loooong vacay involving cranky family, bitchy airport personnel, missed connections, and lost luggage....what's one thing that can make 2006 look better?


Yea! I've missed Junk Feud soooo much and I was worried she wasn't coming back.....although, orange? Is that really better than pink? I think not, but (other than that one little quibble) I have no complaints.

So, um that's all I know about what I missed while I was gone, but really I think that Junk Feud's relaunch is the only important thing that I could have so missed.