Dear Brit,

First of all you know I totally support you and I always have (I never liked Christina, not even before she became a huge slut...I'm assuming she was a little slut even back in the Mickey Mouse Club days, but we can talk about that later.) Anyway, I just wanted to make sure you know I love you so that you'll take my advice seriously: DIVORCE KEVIN FEDERLINE, NOW!! NOW! NOW BRITNEY! RIGHT THIS INSTANT!!!

Okay, I'm calm again, but my point is that he was bad enough when he was just fugly and tacky and trailer trashy but at least we could all imagine he was semi-human when you got to know him. Unfortunately we've all heard that crap he calls music (c'mon even you had to laugh, Brit) and I think you and I both know it's time to pull the plug on this farce of a marriage. No one will blame you and it's not like he's going to be any help supporting SPF or anything, you'll be better off without him!

Sincerely, LCP

P.S. If you divorce K.Fed now then you can become super-hot again and go steal your rightful MM Club soul mate back from that old hag he's dating now, you guys were waaaaay cuter!


treens said...

true dat. "people call me k-fed, but now you can call me daddy." horrible. just horrible.

LCP said...

somebody's up late. what about the part about "y'all wanna be in the situations I'm getting in" or whatever...it doesn't even scan...like couldn't they at least have someone edit this stuff