I'm totally, completely, absolutely en serio! Anybody who knows me at all could tell you that I have always had one dream and that was the dream of having a magical remote control/watch/gadget of some sort that gives me the power to control time. Well, hey, check out the IMDb plot summary of Adam Sandler's new movie:
"Click" focuses on a workaholic architect who finds a universal remote that allows him to fast-forward and rewind to different parts of his life. Complications arise when the remote starts to overrule his choices.
WTF, right? Well, in my world it's way cooler anyway. First of all I can just pause the whole world except for me (and my buddies/sidekicks...I mean I am the one with the superpower, guys, that means if I let you in on the fun you have to be my sidekicks) and do whatever I so please.
For example, if I'm taking a Physics test, I would just fastforward time until someone smart was done, than pause, whip over with my test and copy down all their answers, drive myself over to starbucks for a (free) cappucino, mosey down to the mall to pick up some new (free) clothes, then go back to class and unpause the world when I'm ready to turn in my test. Seriously, how fucking cool would that be?
Also, just in case you think I just decided to pretend I came up with this idea, I present:
Exhibit A: Me in Art summer school class before freshman year (4 hrs. a day...kill me now) with K. and we totally planned out exactly how we'd be using our magical remote/watch.
Exhibit B: My college interview for Reed, where the interviewer (I kid you not) asked me what superpower I would choose....that was one question I was completely prepared for....maybe I was even a bit too enthusiastic about the whole "how to avoid work" thing, I mean I was probably supposed to talk about some bullshit superpower like flying (because I could see the world from a different perspective, etc, etc.)
...anyway I'm not going to be seeing the Adam Sandler version of my dream come true, because I can tell from the summary that he's totally f'ed the whole thing up. You know, once I get ahold of a magical remote there is no way I'm letting it overrule my choices, it's my stupid remote, it'll do what I want! Also, there are no dorky pink bikes involved in my dream. C'mon Adam, if you can control time you can totally go steal that Jaguar I want from some other country (so they can't find you, duh) and never have to make a fool of yourself on that bike again.