Once, Twice, Three Times My Petie

Hum, Pete Doherty got arrested 3 times yesterday!

Wow, impressive, maybe I need to phase out my crush on him before he dies.

On the other hand........I kind of like him more because according to that article he drives a Jaguar too, *le sigh* how much more perfect and Britishly drug-addictly cute can he get???

I <3 Andy Samberg

First the Chronic (what!) cles of Narnia (or the Lazy Sunday rap as laaaaaaaaaaaaaame people call it)....now this Young Chuck Norris video.

On the plus side for SNL: yea! finally something funny is on the show (incidentally....something kind of hot too, right? I'm not alone there?)

On the minus side for SNL: Why the hell would I waste my time watching the whole fucking show when I can watch all the best bits on the internets?

Ooooh! and in related news.........watch Lazy Monday! It's the West Coast's response to Lazy Sunday, and it makes California seem really, um, cool.

OMFG! Celebrities Eat?????

Yah, they do, and the do it really funny-style too:

"AH AM ALSO DAH GUVVANAH OF DA HAMBUGGA AN I GIVE YOU DA DEATH PENALTY!! JINGLEALLTHEWAY!"

I'm soooo in love with this site (aka faaabulous new time-waster) which is full of funny pictures of celebrities eating with hi-fucking-larious captions.

Although, apparently I'm not up enough on Cahleefornia politics to get this caption........does the governator say "jingle all the way" a lot or something? Ah, whatevs, the point is that Ahnuld looks FUNNY when he eats......even his friends laugh at him!

Lil' Lohan Red Riding Hood....

...hath vanquished "Big Bad" Yoko Ono (aka "Ugly, Annoying, Greedy, Best-Band-Ever-Ruining" Yoko Ono....or UAGBBER YO for short)

See, apparently it was bothering UAGBBER YO to be "forced to watch the reenaction of her husband's murder on the doorstep of her New York City home, after failing to ban producers from filming new movie CHAPTER 27 at the location."

But when "Yoko immediately checked if the Dakota building had the right to refuse them filming the facade, and found out that legally, all they had to do was to get the permission of the city." We knew there weren't nothing she could do to stop us! [Source]

So, "Ha! in yo face Yoko!" laugh Lindsay and I "IN. YO. FACE!" and um, then she goes off to hang out with fat Jared Leto and I shake my head in dismay at the mess he hath made of himself.

[images via Popsugar]

Jonathan Rhys Meyers is Insane

Seriously. Bat-shit insane:

"Teri Hatcher is my favorite Desperate Housewife. She's just sex on legs. She's an older woman who I imagine could teach me a few things." [Source]

That's definitely crazy talk. I used to think he was marginally hot (okay, sometimes I thought he was hot, really hot, really really hot........but then sometimes he looked like this) but now he's definitely off the prospective husbands list because, let's be honest, I really don't want to take the risk of ending up with crazy babies.

Hillary Duff's #1 Fan?

Let's Count the Ways in Which This is So Very Wrong:

1. Joel Madden.....nuff said
2. Public Display of Duff-love.....why exactly does he want people to know that he's with an emaciated former Disney princess?
3. Trucker hat
4. Airbrushing???????
5. Pink and Purple AIRBRUSHING?????

Chanel on the Cheap

Ack! I love love love these pins! They're the next best (and waaaaay cheaper) thing to those Chanel slip-on sneakers that look like Vans* and did I mention that I'm in lurrrrrrve with them???????

You can buy various labelicious pins at ioffer.com

* I'm kind of afraid to wear my normal Vans because I feel like total poser (me, skateboarding............) but anyway, I feel like the Chanel version would be totally unposerish because what self-respecting skater would want designer shoes?

P.S. About all this shit concerning Chanel's "huge" mistake in lending Reese Witherspoon and Natalie Portman preworn frocks at the Golden Globes. Dude, get over it, and shut up about actresses boycotting Chanel or something. Chanel is Chanel and (erm, nothing personal against Reese or Natalie both of whom I love, but) these bitches should just shut up and be thankful for the fucking gorgeous clothes they get to wear for free.

Fat Actor?

Looking at some horrifying before and after shots from A Socialite's Life, well, for his sake (and for the sake of world-hotness levels in general) I really hope Jared Leto's been wearing a fat suit as he films the new (Lindsed Loheto spectacular) Chapter 27.

I'm not the hugest Jared Leto fan (post Jordan Catalano that is) but the hotness of that first pic is undeniable. Seriously, what a step up for ol' Lindsay Lohan from Wilmer Vanderrama to that..........and then to see it all disappear? That would be really tragic. Almost as if she were destined to date chubby, annoying actors for the rest of her life. Poor Lindsay. Oh for the sake of the Lindsay in us all, please get hot again Jared!

The Sundance Swag

Life is sooo unfair:

"The Sundance Channel Gift Bag is being given to 250 pre-selected individuals, including cable and satellite affiliates, film and TV makers, talent, and strategic marketing partners, according to Kirk Iwanowski, SVP of marketing at the network. And what's some of this year's loot for the lucky group? Kenneth Cole returns with a full grain leather duffel bag containing the new Apple video iPOD (60 gb); an AMC entertainment card worth $150; Block head-ware; a full year membership to the chic David Barton Gym, including five private training sessions; a visit to Exhale Spa; a $100 gift card to China Grill; Grey Goose Vodka; J Crew cashmere gloves; a 'day of skiing' at the Sundance resort, including ski rentals and passes for two; a two-night stay at a W Hotel and more including an DVDs from ThinkFilm and Sundance Channel as well as a Leonard Cohen CD" [Source]

Really, all I can think when I read this is that it is so unfair that people don't give ME swag. Well, that and why the fuck is it such a manly swag bag? Really, doesn't it seem very macho to you.....are they saying that women can't make it onto the top 250 list????????

Adrien Brody & The Thug Life

Hm, Adrien Brody, appears to be really racially confused or something. How does he remain so attractive despite the fact that he talks like an 11 yr. old boy? No matter how badly he disgraces himself with this article in Mass Appeal magazine (no, I've never heard of it either) I still have to say that he does rock the head tilt pretty well:

Mass Appeal: So you were in Bullet with Tupac, right?

Adrien Brody: Oh, yeah. I went bombing with Tupac. Get the fuck outta here. I went bombing in Brooklyn with Tupac. On the wall, he was writing “Thug Life” before any Thug Life albums were out, and he had it on his chest. I was like, What the fuck is Thug Life? That’s cool. I think some of it might be on the wall in a scene in Bullet. I forget what I wrote.

Mass Appeal: Did you spend a lot of time with ’Pac?

Adrien Brody: Mickey [Rourke] and ’Pac’s boy had this fistfight, so we’re all just chilling, drinking in Mickey’s trailer. ’Pac would come out in a blaze of smoke, and we would all hang out a lot. One night, we shot all night. I finally got one take or two takes, because the sun was coming up. I just came through in the crunch. It was independent guerilla film making, craziness. Afterwards, I was hanging under the Major Deegan [Expressway] in a limo at like four in the morning when I played my ’Pac my beats on cassette! I remember chilling with ’Pac, just cruising on the way home in the back of the car, sun coming up—it was a dream come true. It was just one of those moments." [Mass Appeal Magazine via The Corsair]

If Your Aunt Minnie is a WHORE!!!

On the one hand, it's funny that Woody Allen would give Scarlett Johanssen fashion advice, because, well....he's Woody Allen* and since when has he been such a fashionista(o?). On the other hand it's also funny because he's so right:

FWD: What do you think of Scarlett’s style?

Woody Allen: I have had many conversations with Scarlett on this subject. The main thing I tell her is to simplify. I think that she dresses older than she should. I would tell her to wear her hair looser, to lessen the makeup and heavy red lipstick. Be more natural. It’s a starlet thing. She is a beautiful girl but I have told her to tone it down.

FWD: Are there any specific designers you would recommend?

Woody Allen: I wouldn’t go that far. But I have told her to dress her age, instead of dressing like my Aunt Minnie." [Fashionweekdaily]

*Although the FWD article does make his look sound a lot classier than it's alway appeared to the naked eye, describing his outfit as "a trademark slouchy green cashmere jumper" and leaving out any mention of his lovely trademark Groucho Marx glasses.

I Spit in the Face of PETA: *Ptooey!*

OMFG! I love when Mary-Kate whips out the furs, they look so good! (No sarcasm there guys, I get that certain (stupid) people don't understand MK's look---and yes, Mr. Blackwelll, with his stupid little "worst-dressed list" is one of those dumbasses--but the point is that I like the way she dresses and her look has nothing to do with the tack-ay imitations that give her such a bad name....)

Innyhoo, that was just a long intro to this little gem of an excerpt from today's Gawker Stalker:

I saw Mary-Kate Olsen at Galaxy Deli on 10th street and 3rd ave. around 10:30 pm tonight. She was wearing a fur jacket, black leggings, black platform high heels, a big gold ring and a silvery snake ring, and a black sunhat-shaped hat made of velvet or felt. She’s actually pretty, with a heart-shaped face. She was at the cash register taking her sweet time picking out lots of candy: Twizzlers, Starburst, Tootsie Rolls. She kept talking about the Tootsie Rolls to the chubby, fey boy she was with. He said something about kids from his acting class to which she responded with a comment that I didn’t catch, but the inflection in her voice is what I like to call the slack-jaw-ennui-up-talk. Then he said sarcastically: “You’re getting cold-hearted in your old age.” One or both of them smelled like booze.

See! Proof that Tootsie Rolls are truly her favorite candy! I mean we all read the rumours......but I still had my doubts. I feel much more at peace now that I know it's for real.

Okay, plus I just liked it b/c her outfit sounds cute in that special MK way: love the black leggings with black platforms......and obvs. the fur. Um, the hat though? Seriously? That's venturing onto dangerously J.Lo infested territory, right?

Dear Misters Masterson,

First of all sorry about your shows (That 70's Show for Danny Masterson and Malcolm in the Middle for Chris Masterson) getting cancelled. Boo fucking hoo, I hated both of these shows anyways.

My real point was just that I think it's super cool and random that you guys are brothers.

<3 LCP

Damn It Feels Good to Be a Hamster

If I was really cool I would buy this shirt. And I would have a hamsta named Gangsta.....or maybe Wanksta? Anyway:

And all I gotta say to you / Wannabe, gonnabe, cocksuckin’, pussy-eatin’ prankstas / Cuz when the fry dies down what the fuck you gonna do / Damn it feels good to be a [hamsta]

Just a few words to live by from the Geto Boys.

[all cool people will obviously be buying a piece of the hotness at Delia*s......although why the fuck it only comes in one color I do not know]

Dear Georgey Porgey Pudding & Pie,

Please tell me you did not kiss this girl or I will cry. Ew. Gross. George Clooney, if you're for reals dating this hag then you're for reals off my Hot Old Guys list. (Which will leave Clint Eastwood pretty f'ing lonely)

TERI HATCHER and GEORGE CLOONEY are playing coy about their rumoured romance, by refusing to chat about their reported date.

DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES star Hatcher is staying quiet about the ‘date’, while Clooney insists “it’s a good rumour”.

The actress says, “If I went on a date with George Clooney I would not be talking about it.”

And gentleman George adds, “She is my neighbour, though, and she’s beautiful.” [Source]

Oh wait, never mind, apparently you already cleared the air about this frightening rumour (You can go hang out with Clint again). Still.....calling that creature beautiful? Not hot man, not hot.

How To Study For Finals

1. Watch Cheaper by the Dozen 2 even though you said you never would. Give me a break, it was Hilary Duff's first movie as a skinny minnie (for some reason that always runs through my head when I think of her....maybe it's the Disney, maybe the fact that mice have big teeth?) Anyhow, my (un)tasteful self enjoyed it despite the fact that its humour was "....as malnourished as Hilary Duff appears to be" Ha ha, eat that Hil.D......hmmm, maybe I should call her Hil. D. it has a nice "horsedfaced Hildie" ring to it while still retaining that sugary Disney popstar vibe.




2. Watch Tristan and Isolde even though it obviously wasn't going to be supa dupa (considering the fact that I saw most of the previews on TV) and drool over James Franco. I love him because a) He's pretty. b) Basically any cookie cutter "hot guy" is like 5 bazillion times hotter in an ancient warrior costume. c) He comes from Palo Alto which has a severe lack of interesting famous people (No! The Donnas are not interesting)






3. Watch (so fucking overhyped) 24 because people talk about it so much that it must be good, right? Wrong. What a waste of 4 hours of precious TV space this week....and really, WTF with the 2 day/4 hr season premiere, a little full of ourselves are we? Surely that's more than anyone could stand?

Actually, the absolute crap that is 24 kind of brought home the fact that TV is a lot less inspiring lately than usual...............I look back fondly on the early days of Alias, the O.C., Sex and the City, even as recently as Lost. Lately my favorite show is Grey's Anatomy and frankly, that's just because there's nothing better at the moment.

They wonder why we're so addicted to reality TV, huh? Give me Laguna Beach any day over 24! What's stupider: watching superficial people (successfully) act funny and superficial or watching superficial people (unsuccessfully) act important and exciting?

4. Watch a lot of other crap TV and then bitch about it all. My life is so hard.

You'll Never Get to Heaven If You're Scared of Getting High....

....yeah, according to Kylie anyway.

Um, and maybe to like every celebrity. Here's a nice lil' compilation of pictures of famous peoples getting high.

Hmph, and they say Kate Moss isn't a good role model??? Geez, at least she gets high in the privacy of her own recording studio.

["Hot in 2006: Celebrity Potheads" Cityrag]

Question of the Day

Question: Does Bush still have game? (I'm assuming we all agree he was pretty much hot stuff back in the day.......c'mon when he put on that cheerleading uniform.....)

Answer: Hellz to the yah! C'mon, I think Angela Merkel (the German Chancellor) looks pretty flustered when he gives her the ol' college try.

["Date and Switch" The WOW Report]

WTF of the Day

WTF?

Sienna Miller has been painting with her breasts. The on-again-off-again sweetie of Jude Law has been in character to play Edie Sedgwick, one of Andy Warhol’s entourage, in “Factory Girl” and she’s been using her breasts to paint large canvases, which she has displayed in her London home. She explains: “I’ve got rooms covered in [bleeps].” [Source]

Blargh. I hate Sienna......like we really nee to know this. Ooh, she's such a trendsetter (and such a better role model than Kate Moss, if only we could all be as edgy and method as her.) Double Blargh.

My Shambling Baby....

...is going to jail (okay, maybe, and yeah this one was obviously coming)

But he's bringing the fans with him (another maybe, since I doubt Pete Doherty's fans are the court going types....y'know, like lawyers and stuff)

Innyhoo.....he interrupted a concert to invite his fans to court with him (and help him fight for the right to party?)

P.S. Wow, it was a huge oversight on my part to omit Pete from the post below! He's mos defs a contender for my favorite cokehead.