Innocent Escapes

Oh god, sometimes commercials are the best entertainment around! For seriously guys, check out the human Brawny man, what he lacks in hotness he makes up in sensitivity!

Seriously, this lumberjack is here for you in your time of random breakdown and on top of the paper towels he offers to wipe your teary eyes (Uh, no word on way such a sensitive guy doesn't have something softer like, say, Kleenex lying around the log cabin....but I guess the best ads aren't really the best ads if you know what I mean) Never mind those rough towels though, the Brawny man will also soothe you with tiramisu and the ol' six string.

Go to your happy place.
[via The WOW Report]

I Can't Help it...

...I know they're movie stars and they live in their own perfect little worlds, but sometimes I just feel really sorry for them. In this case, I have to say it, Poor Leondardo DiCaprio!

Obviously he was the famous one in the relationship but it must be hard for him to see his (way hotter than him) ex-girlfriend rebound with someone appropriately hot.

Oh, poor pasty Leo! Who will love you now that Gisele has moved on to tanner pastures?

[image from People]

Dear LiMossLo,

First things first: congratulations on figuring out that you two of the only cool celebrities (although Kate: you're obviously about 10,003 times as cool as Lindsay) and getting together for a little dinner at Mr. Chow's.

Quick note to Linds: smart move figuring out who's hot and complimenting them so as to get in their good graces: “She looks great. She wears things that could take hours to put together, but she probably doesn’t take much time.” -LiMoLo....yes, Lindsay I see the way your Machievellian little mind functions and I know that you were taught well by the Mean Girls.

Now, Kate, obviously you look gorgeous. You own the skinny jeans with flats look, other celebs who try it get compared to you, as Scarlett Johanssen learns from Elle: "...trend-setter Johansson's chic black skinny [jeans] set off a cavalcade of covetous glances among the assorted stylists. Think Kate Moss...." [Source] yet you're not one to rest on your laurels. Props for your innovative little leather jacket/capelet thing!

<3 LCP

Now & Then

(With "Now" on the left and "Then" on the right, in case you couldn't figure that one out.)

Okay, obviously I'm firmly on the Lindsay side in that little feud, but that doesn't mean I don't appreciate Hillary for her more saccharine take on the Disney princess.

In fact I just watched her most recent movie, The Perfect Man (craptastic, but cute guy and cute little sister--isn't that how it always goes?) Aside from these cuties (the former a comic book geek and the latter a spelling bee champion........wow, the Duffster is so original) what was notable about the movie is that Hillary is beautiful. Granted, it's in the aforementioned saccharine Disney princess way, but she's still incredibly gorgeous---or was gorgeous anyways.

In contrast, in the recent picture (taken some time in the undistant past at the Cheaper by the Dozen 2 premiere....btw, that's one Duffster movie that even I wouldn't subject myself too) Hillary looks like absolute CRAP. Sheesh, when did she become a 40 y.old crack whore? Yeah, we noticed that you lost weight Hil, but it was so not worth it when we take into account those enormous undereye bags you gained and those horrendous new veneers you seem to be struggling to hold in your mouth.

My advice? Lay off the drugs, the Good Charlotte, and the monstrous orange earrings. Then, go get some sleep, eat something wholesome, (may I suggest blueberry pancakes?) dye the hair super-blonde again, and you'll be back to normal in no time. Good Luck!

The Imitible Sinead O'Connor

Gawker noticed this picture of Natalie Portman appears in a Village Voice review with the caption,

“The inimitable Sinead O’Connor.”

Oh, the irony. On a related note, when is Natalie going to grow back her hair? This "edgy" thing is getting kind of tired and she kind of reminds me of a concentraton camp survivor--or possibly Natalie Portman in a movie where she plays a concentration camp survivor: the shorn head, those dark, hollow eyes, that courageously jutting chin.

[Ain't Struggling Village Voice.....although presumably this will be quickly fixed once they realize that Gawker is directing thousands of people to come laugh at their mistake....]
[Lots of Things Compare 2 U Gawker]

HiDefinitely Hot or Not

TVPredictions has compiled a list of the top 10 HiDef hotties......as well as the top 10 notties. Not that I'm likely to be getting a HiDef TV anytime soon, but at least I know now who's been hiding behind the fuzzy flattery of the cameras. C'mon, who doesn't like to hear about celebrities being ugly????

The HiDef Hotties: Eva Longoria, Mischa Barton, Nikki Cox, Jennifer Garner, Alexis Dzenia....um, I don't care who hot these random girls look in HiDef, I have no idea who half of them are! So on to the more interesting part:

The HiDef Notties:
1. Teri Hatcher (duh, she's a bag of bones wrapped in loose saggy skin no matter how you look at her...I do have to admit that she's got nice bone structure, though)
2. Demi Moore (another duh, even that much plastic surgery can't combat the effect that gravity and keeping up with her boy toy seem to have had on her face)
3. Donald Trump
4.Heather Locklear
5.David Letterman (amazingly Dave is also incredibly unfunny in HiDef)
6.Bush
7.Ray Liotta
8.Sandra Bullock
9.Clinton (Whoa, I like Clinton and all but considering how godawful he looks in grainy newspaper photos I can only imagine what those undereye bags of his look like in High Definition....*shiver*)
10.Clint Eastwood (TVPredictions says his skin looks like rawhide, but you can't hate on that, it's part of his weathered cowboy appeal!)

Down in Albion

Now that I kind of love Pete Doherty (the "kind of" being my loophole in case tomorrow he does something really unflattering) I now kind of want Babyshambles' new album: Down in Albion. Which the NY Times called:

"...an obscure and somewhat mysterious and ultimately lovable album"

With music that that is "mysterious and subtly seductive"...wow, I guess the NY Times' Kelefah Sanneh hasn't learned about the handy automatic thesaurous in word documents. Frankly, I think it's pretty scandalous that Kelefah gets away with this when he/she(?) could have said "enigmatic" or "divine" or "insoluble"---never mind, I guess Kelefah just figured out quicker than me that the computer is not actually very good at offering usable synonyms. (Huh, perhaps this is why my essay grades suck recently)

Besides the mystery factor, this album has Kate Moss singing backup on "La Belle et la Bête"!!!!! How can this lovable album remain so obscure when it has only the best model ever singing on it? These are the true mysteries of life I think: why do Americans get excited about Paris Hilton singing and yet don't care about a duet sung by this (currently hot) and tragic pair?

Besides, it seems quite likely that P & K were recording this anthem of "...a coked-up pansy/ Who spends his nights in flights of fancy." when the infamous Kate Moss cocaine video was recorded, since we know that took place in a recording studio. And how appropriate is it that they were singing about cocaine as this happened? I guess we're fine with celebrities broadcasting their drug-love to the world as long as there's no photographic proof.

[Notorious or Unknown?... NY Times]
[Down in Albion Amazon]

That's Hot

...but sadly, not as promising as it looks at first. (Notice all the other headlines are in German

....damn it, does that man "Die Hiltons" is in German too. I was just starting to think Germans were cool.)

They should sell this issue of German GQ at American newsstands just because of that super fantastique headline.

[Popsugar]

College Shmollege

It was one thing when Perez was meeting Paris (they are cousins and all so it seems only fair)

But now I'm jealous....actually I'm jealous on more than one level because this was last night (Monday!!!!) and MK was out.

Now I know that the Olsens go out all the time even when they're in school but I'm still really jealous and considering not going to college next year.

That's what the cool people are doing. Therefore I no longer care that I'm going to get rejected by all the schools I applied to. Do your worst!

[Mondays are the New Fridays Perez]

Colin's Exhausted & Dependent

Whoa boy, Colin's finally and officially on the drugs. Or, y'know I guess he's hopefully off them by now since he's

"being treated for exhaustion and dependency on prescription medication..." [Source]

Um, yeah if lots and lots and lots of alcohol counts as prescription medication these days.

Huh, maybe he'll get more hot and less greasy once he gets out of his undisclosed rehabilitation location.

No No No! You Are NOT His Homegirl!

Lindsay! People told me something very scary today:

"She's a beautiful person, a great friend of mine," says Nick Cannon of his Bobby costar, posing with a T-shirt paying homage to her at an afterparty for the Big in '05 awards. Cannon presented Lohan with her honor, and the two have been spotted out together lately. Previously, Lohan was linked to Jared Leto."

Not okay, Lindsay. Nick Cannon is not cool. Do you even see what he looks like? Did you see the failed preppy look with the completely incongruous white beanie???

Don't you dare let me hear anything more about this, Linds.... Not a word, okay?

Dear Sienna,

Huh. I still think you get more out of this relationship than Jude since you totally only became successful due to him....but I can't really say he's the hot one anymore.

First of all he's totally doing the greasy, dirty, British look which doesn't really work with his pretty boy look. And then that silky looking scarf against the chest hair????? Is he kidding?

Hm, I see you're going for the pretty girl with sleazy man look, and I do have to point out that you're a still a step behind Kate Moss since she seems to be way over Pete Doherty by now.

On the other hand, I have to say that (despite my long history of Sienna-hatred) You look gorgeous here. That coat is totally hot and I love the boots and headband too.

<3 LCP

Me & My Nerds

Kristin at EOnline did this poll thing last week where people ranked their favorite shows....apparently I am exactly like everyone else who is obsessed with TV (except for the fact that they all seem to be like 45, and have kids, and live in Idaho...wow, think how cool I'll be by the time I'm 45) because these were my top 3:

1. Grey's Anatomy (which was so hot last night, I cried twice.....I don't know what it is Grey's just does that to me. The first time was kind of expected--when the little kid was really depressed and didn't want the heart transplant--but the second time was at the end when Meredith, Izzie, and George were lying under the Xmas tree...Christmas lights just get me like that.)
2. Lost Okay, that's obviously expected. What can I say, I like my conspiracy theories.
3. Veronica Mars So underappreciated.

And here was the list that Kristin came up with:

1. Grey's Anatomy 2. Lost 3. Veronica Mars 4. Gilmore Girls 5. Desperate Housewives 6. Prison Break 7. House 8. Nip/Tuck 9. CSI 10. The O.C. 11. Everwood 12. ER 13. The Office 14. My Name is Earl 15. 24 16. How I Met Your Mother 17. Scrubs 18. One Tree Hill 19. Commander in Chief 20. Battlestar Galactica 21. Las Vegas 22. West Wing 23. Smallville 24. Medium 25. Supernatural 26. Bones 27. Reunion 28. Law & Order: SVU 29. NCIS 30. Invasion 31. Related 32. Top Model 33. Boston Legal 34. Everybody Hates Chris 35. Real World/Road Rules Challenge

36. Laguna Beach 37. Numb3rs 38. Amazing Race 39. Survivor 40. Ghost Whisperer 41. Entourage 42. CSI: Miami 43. Rome 44. Weeds 45. Crossing Jordan 46. Charmed 47. The L Word 48. Rescue Me 49. Stargate 50. Family Guy 51. Law & Order: CI 52. The Sopranos 53. Girlfriends 54. CSI: NY 55. Deadwood 56. Without a Trace 57. Curb Your Enthusiasm 58. Surface 59. The Simpsons 60. Law & Order 61. King of Queens 62. Will & Grace 63. E-Ring 64. Ghost Hunter 65. Cold Case 66. Extras 67. Monk 68. American Idol 69. The Shield 70. The Biggest Loser

What it all comes down to is that I need to start watching Battlestar Galactica, people seem to be really obsessed with that, and I think it's what I really need to just take me straight to that next level of nerdiness....I'm assuming I'm already up at a pretty high level on the nerd scale considering the blog and the TV obsession and the talking to my computer secret.

The Making of an Addict

If you're interested, go read the whole MK article in W online, but it really just boils down to "College is hard" blah blah blah "Paris is a man-stealing ho" blah blah blah, this is the good stuff where MK opens up about her addiction:

"...Indeed, even more so than the motorcycle purse, it's the Starbucks cup that has become Mary-Kate's most identifiable accessory. When I first meet her at 4:30 in the afternoon, she's nervously clutching a mug of coffee, then it's on to a Diet Coke. Before 10 p.m., she will drink two more Ventis and smoke several Marlboro Reds with her publicist, Michael Pagnotta, who has worked with her since she was five. (Of the two to four giant Starbucks beverages she downs a day, she says she generally alternates between chai latte and skim latte—though she recently discovered the red eye, a potent mix of coffee and espresso. "Those will wake you up," she says, chuckling.)

"When I was younger, on weekends, my mom would make us pancakes with our initials on them and then a tiny cup of coffee," says Olsen. She quickly became an addict. "I remember at 10 sneaking my own coffee and pouring a ton of sugar in and going up to the playroom and drinking it."

So it's not such a surprise when the highly caffeinated actress lets on that—over and above her never-lived-in $7.3 million apartment in the West Village, beyond her tricked-out black Range Rover and even more than her enviable collection of designer bags—the possession she prizes most is her new espresso machine. "It's the most amazing thing I've ever had," she says dreamily. "It makes cappuccino all day long.""

That's pretty hot, right? Sneaking up to the playroom with her coffee? "Chuckling" about her Starbucks habit and talking "dreamily" about her espresso machine. Also what is this "red-eye" thing she's talking about, it sounds intriguing.....especially as I sit here chugging cup after cup of my Peet's holiday blend, it's a lot of work making my own coffee. I wish I had one of those espresso machines like MK has. It would just sit at home making me coffee ALL. DAY. LONG. and when I got home from school, man, would I have catching up to do.

Opposites Attract

As in super-tan Andrew Keegan hooking up with super-pale newly minted Top Model Niocle.

"...spotted going home together were tanorexic TV actor Andrew Keegan and America's Next Top Model winner Nicole." [Perez Hilton]

Not that we weren't expecting Nicole to start hooking up with Hollywood types suddenly...remember the ANTM episode with the Wild Boyz where she was totally flirting with them? So, we know she's willing to stoop pretty low.

Name That 'Stache

Man oh man oh man.

On such a pretty face too...you'd think when they were putting on their lovely red lipgloss, they would have noticed their lovely little moustache before they went on national TV....sadly, they didn't.

See who it was after the jump....


Po' Ty Ty Baby. Sporting the 'stache at the ANTM finale.

[JJB]

Are You Listening?

This is on PostSecret this week.....

My "secret" is this is the only Ivy I won't be irritated by annoying people getting into it.

....I'm lying there's one person I don't want to get in here (but don't worry, Mahnce, it's not you)

It's Probably Time to Emancipate Mimi's Slaves

Oh god, Mariah, you are too crazy for words sometimes. I think only a picture with a caption can do you justice:

The singer — famous for her outrageous demands — stunned fans by being too lazy to lift the cup herself. A brunette assistant had to perform the task at regular intervals while the singer signed copies of her album The Emancipation of Mimi.

Sigh, and we thought she was getting a little full of herself when she had her driver drive her dog across the country in a Mercedes.

Don't get me wrong, I love the Mariah, and don't call it a comeback because she never really stopped....except for that brief stint in the hospital for 'exhaustion'....."CAN'T. LIFT. A. SINGLE. MORE. CUP......Mariah collapses in a heap.

[via Best Week Ever]

Projekt-Laufbahn

According to Babel Fish my (hot) title is how you say Project Runway in German...the language of Project Runway's lovely leader Heidi Klum (Methinks somebody is copying Ty Ty Baby, but I don't mind because ANTM is drawing to a close and I desperately need a some new false reality to keep me going from week to week.)

So, to get down to business, I'm here to tell you that YOU SHOULD WATCH PROJECT RUNWAY, because it's a fucking fantastic show.

1. Fashion designers as well as models compete. (And these models actually look like models unlike um, certain other competing models on a reality TV show)

2. Heidi Klum is pregnant and has a German accent...I'm not sure if that makes the show more or less attractive to you, but I thought it was only fair you should know.

3. Last season = super hot fashioneality drama (enjoyable whether you enjoy real fashion or not, much as reality tv is enjoyable whether or not you are in touch with reality)

4. This season looks to be even hotter and has the added allure of some super fantastique recaps from TVgasm (Of which 2 luverly ones have already been posted)

[Official Project Runway website]

Auf Wiedersehen, bitches (as the Kluminator would say) go watch Project Runway.

My Love is Cruel...

...."My Love" being Joaquin Phoenix of course.

Apparently my love is not only really hot and really crazy but also deviously cruel, if you trust everything you read on the internets, which of course I do. According to my (totally trustworthy, I swear) source:

"Joaquin Phoenix reportedly had a steamy on set affair with co-star Ginnifer Goodwin while filming the Johnny Cash biopic 'Walk the Line'.

But the handsome method actor is said to have cruelly dumped the actress - who played his wife in the film - the day before their break-up scene." [source]

How hot is that? In unrelated news, I decided this picture of Joaq was so hot that I had to make it my background. So far, the relationship is working out quite well (when I'm shirking, his angry glare admonishes me to GET BACK TO WORK! and when I've been working well his smoldering gaze says I LOVE YOU and then I am happy)....um sorry about that little digression. Haha, I was just messing, I totally never have long in-depth conversations wiht my computer.